Dear diary........

Hello my lovelies,

Just a quick update. What a week I've had! This week has been good and bad in equal amounts and it's been a roller coaster of emotions. 

It all started last Saturday when my brother in law was rushed back in to hospital. If you're new to my blog you may my know that he is terminally ill with cancer. He has an aggressive form of multiple myeloma. He was diagnosed two years ago and since then has had countless forms of chemotherapy and a stem cell transplant. Unfortunately he is still very susceptible to infection and he caught an infection which hospitalised him last weekend.  Because of this I was unfortunately unable to attend the Mids Blog Meet up in Birmingham. Hopefully there will be another soon and I will most certainly be there. 

Monday was my first day back at work after a weeks holiday. I've been unhappy for a while there and decided to move on and resign. I do have an opportunity to work for a competitor but that won't be happening until July time. So Monday morning I went into the office early, took a few deep breaths and handed in my resignation. As I expected, they have put me on garden leave for the rest of my notice. This makes me sad really as I am unable to speak to colleagues who are actually friends away from work. But rules are rules I suppose. I do feel relief that it's all over now though and I'm very excited about the future. 

This week has been quiet for me. I miss my friends who I'm not permitted to talk to for the next couple of weeks. Seems mad really that an employer can have this hold over your social life too. But I don't want to get any of my friends in trouble as they still work there and I'd be breaking my contract too. 

Onwards and upwards and I'm putting my spare time to good use. I needed motivation to get back to my blogging and now I have plenty of time to catch up on posts. I'm currently "stock piling" to get ahead of myself and I'm committing to posting twice a week from this week.

Thanks to all of my twitter friends who are always there to make me smile. I love to interact with you all. If you're not following me on twitter my tag name is @catmazdo. 

Thank you to everyone for reading and sticking with me. It is very much appreciated. 

Speak to you all soon xxxx

Whats wrong with me?!

Hi lovelies!

It feels like an eternity since I last posted on here. My online presence has been very much lessened for the past few weeks.

My absence online has been largely due to the fact that recently I have been suffering with depression. Having never really experienced what its like to be depressed I did for a while think that I was heading for some kind of breakdown. Nothing could snap me out of this feeling that I had and when someone asked me what was wrong and why was I so quiet it would reduce me tears with no explanation why. Yes I was stressed with work and I had worries like everyone else in the world, but it seemed that my coping mechanism had just packed up.

From the outside looking in it would seem to others that I have absolutely no reason to be depressed. I have a job, a beautiful healthy daughter and a close knit loving amd supportive family.  So why would someone who has all that be depressed???

I kept asking myself this same question over and over. Was I just inflating everything and being dramatic?  Am I ill and just didn't realise? Why are all these small problems, that people experience day to day, getting to me so badly. Even now as I write this post I still cant answer the questions.

At work I was finding it more and more difficult to concentrate.  I felt insecure,  worthless and so paranoid that it was driving me to distraction. 

Once at home I was quiet, snappy and tearful. I tried so hard not to let this mood be seen by my daughter but it was becoming increasingly difficult to hide. My family started to notice that slowly I was becoming more and more reclusive. 

I was eating more for comfort and my weight has gone up, again adding to my upset and self loathe.

2 weeks ago my mum came to visit and I was having a bad day. I could barely string a sentence together through crying so hard. But I didnt know why. It was time to go to the doctors.

I was lucky enough to get an appointment that evening with my GP. He diagnosed me with depression.  He said that although anti depressants were available, prescribing them isn't always the answer.  Herbal alternatives can certainly help and he also suggested taking a little break from work to relax. He also advised I try things like Rescue Remedy and Kalms to help with the anxiety. 

I went into work the following day and poured my heart out to the director of the company to explain. This was step one of shaking myself from this feeling of despair.

I realise it will take a while for me to be my usual self but I can say that at the moment im feeling a lot better than I was. If I feel anxious I take a few deep breaths, step back from the situation for a second and then carry on.

Have any of you suffered with anxiety and / or depression?  What did you do to help come out of it?

Im so grateful for the support of my friends and family.  Without them I would be in a terrible mess.

If anyone who reads this is also suffering with depression then I urge you to talk to someone.  I have found that just talking about the worries and stresses I have, have certainly seemed smaller and easier to deal with once talked openly about.

Im also feeling a bit more confident about blogging again now too and im really looking forward to the Mids Blog Meet in Birmingham on the 31st. Im going to pull on my big girl pants, paint on a smile and enjoy a new meeting some new people. If you're attending please come and say hi!

Thank you all so much for reading this blog post. Its not been the usual happy, easy to read posts that we all enjoy but I wanted to fully explain my absence.

Anyway, onwards and upwards!

Look forward to speaking to you all soon my lovelies :0).

XxxxX

My Skin Care Routine - For Dry, Eczema prone skin.

Hello lovelies!

Welcome back to my blog. I cannot believe were in May already. Where is this year disappearing to?! I took a couple of weeks break from blogging and twitter due to busy family commitments but I'm glad to say I'm back and raring to go!

My first post for May is about my skincare. Now I have very troublesome dry skin. A sufferer of eczema since a teenager, I have spent fortunes on finding a product that works and doesn't irritate my sensitive skin. The products I'm about to talk about I've been using for just over 12 months. Now that may not sound a long amount of time. But for me, it's a lifetime!  My skin usually gets bored with products, flares up and then I'm back to square one. Thankfully these products all seem to do the trick.  And whilst they continue do so I wont be looking to change in the near future.

Morning Skincare Routine

Peaches & Clean

Now this may seem a little odd to most that someone with hyper sensitive skin would use this.  I was dubious at first myself as it contains such active ingredients.  But using it with my Clarisonic Mia it makes my skin so smooth and feel really clean.

*I use the sensitive brush on the Clarisonic as its not harsh at all on my skin.

Simple Kind to Eyes Rollerball

I use this before my moisturiser. I very rarely sleep well so most mornings my eyes are quite puffy. As the roller ball is metal it feels quite cold and refreshing on the eyes. It really helps.

Garner Micellar Water

Once cleansed I use a micellar water as a toner for my skin.  I am in love with these "magic waters". I have also used the L'Oreal one too.

Ambre Solaire - Sensitive Advance SPF50

I always use a SPF under my moisturiser. It wasnt something i used to do on a daily basis, but unfortunately my Grandma had skin cancer. She did have it removed but after that it was a huge wake up call for me. I live in England so factor 50 isnt completely needed, but i was drawn to the fact that it was aimed at sensitive skin.

Garnier Moisture Match

I actually use 2 of this range. During autumn and winter months I use this one for dry to very skin. This is very thick and extremely moisturising. Its best used sparingly though as it can cause your skin to feel on the greasy side (I never thought id say that about MY skin!).

As the seasons change and the weather improves I use this one for dry skin. Same lovely fresh scent and still very moisturising.  Not as thick as the previous one.

I can't recommend these moisturisers enough. If you are dry skin sufferer I urge you to try them. I never thought anything would hydrate my skin but they truly are amazing. Most definitely my holy grail products.  I will purchase them over and over again. And even better is the fact that they're drugstore! 

Evening Skincare Routine.

My evening skincare routine is pretty much the same as my morning routine.  Only 2 small changes.

First is the addition of these......

Johnson's Face Care - Make Up Be Gone

Yes, yes I know. Face wipes are the work of the devil and no doubt I'll be struck down for such a sin. But when I get home from work I want my make up off quickly as possible. Its been sat on my face for 9 hours, I find it suffocating! 

I only ever use Johnsons wipes.  And I use them as a "pre cleanse".

Once the make up is off I then use my Peaches & Clean cleanser to remove the rest of the days makeup away. I don't use the clarisonic on an evening as using it twice a day would be too harsh for my skin.

Once cleansed i tone with my micellar water and moisturise. 

So there we have it. I hope you enjoyed this post. If you have any questions at all about how I control my eczema when I do have break outs please let me know.

See you all very soon xxx

Good Friday Mini Haul (Superdrug) and Update.

Hello lovelies!

Huge apologies for lack of posts recently. Its been a very busy couple of weeks with work and family life. 

On Monday (14th April) I had another meeting with the director of the company in Essex which have contacted me to work with them. We're still in talks and negotiating certain conditions. If they can be overcome then I may be making the leap! Exciting and VERY scary!

Now, back to my favourite subject. Shopping!

As you have all read by now, last month I put myself on a voluntary spending ban (boooooooo) well I'm very pleased to say that its now over. Yaaaaaay!! The scary thing to come out of this spending ban was that I've easily had a grand total of £300 spare this month. I never realised that I was spending that much. Its been a bit of a wake up call I can tell you.

I had a wish list as long as my arm of things I wanted to buy once i'd been paid. The adrenaline rush was overwhelming! But I've been so good today and just purchased a few little things. 2 or 3 I did actually need. The rest because I wanted to reward myself for sticking to my spending ban.

Now usually I'm a fully fledged Boots girl. But I had a new Superdrug points card which is yet to be used (fickle,  I know). So here is what I picked up.

Garnier Micellar Cleansing Water

I'm yet to try this brand of Micellar water and as my L'Oreal one is due to run out i thought i would give this a try. This was on offer for £2.99

MUA Mosaic Blush in English Rose

I have a few MUA products and i particularly like their blushers. Ive seen a fair few good reports about this so thought i would also purchase and add to my already extensive highlighter / blush range. There will be a more in depth seperate review on this at a later date. Amazing price of £2.50

Maybelline Fit Me Foundation - 120 (Classic Ivory)

I received a sample of this in the post last year but i never tried it as i thought it looked a bit too dark for my skin. One weekend i was sorting through my makeup drawers and came across it. Purely out of interest i tried it and it blended perfectly. It gave my skin slight glow and it felt really lightweight. I've just used up the sample i had so decided to purchase a full size. £7.99

Revlon Photoready Perfecting Primer

Ah my holy grail primer. I absolutely love this. Ive tried many others but i will always come back to this one. This makes my skin feel smooth. This is the only primer that keeps my makeup in place all day. £11.99

Barry M Gelly Hi - Shine Nail Paint in Grapefruit

I've been wanting a corally / pink nail polish as i think for summer this looks great. especially if your tanned. Barry M gelly polishes are great. I don't have the longest of nails but i still like my nails to look pretty. Looking forward to trying this out. £3.99

Batiste Dry Shampoo - Blush

I'm not a massive advocate for dry shampoo, but we all have occasional days where we need a little "zhuzh". This travel size can will last me a good month. A handbag staple at a good price of 3 for £3.

MUA Fur - Effect Nails 

This is actually for my daughter. She has a party to go to on Saturday evening and she wanted something a little different for her nails. If anyone has any tips on how to get the maximum effect of this then i would be immensely grateful. £3.00

And there we have it. Not a massive haul but my first this month.

I'm going to be keeping a tight reign on my finances for a couple of months so i shall be looking at budget beauty products. If you have any suggestions or have tried any that you could recommend please let me know. 

I hope you're all having a lovely Good Friday and i hope you enjoy the bank holiday. The weather so far is being very kind to us!

I'm now off to spend the last hour outside in the sunshine.

Happy Easter!!

My first favourites post! (March)

Hi all,

Welcome to my first favourites post. Albeit a little late, heres what ive been loving in March.

Revlon Photoready Primer

I purchased this last year. Used it once or twice and then it disappeared into the depths of my makeup draws. I thought id give it another go and i have regained my total love for it. Not sticky or slimy like some primers can be and it helps keep my makeup on all day.  On 'good skin' days I'll wear just this and a translucent powder.

Rimmel Stay Matte Liquid Mousse Foundation.

Having not tried a matte foundation before I was a little apprehensive about this. Especially as I am a dry skin sufferer, so usually i go for a more dewy look. I also prefer a foundation that is quite a high coverage.  I had exactly that with this foundation. A little goes a long way so I think this will last some time. I would say though that I personally wouldn't wear this foundation in summer. It is quite a heavy foundation in my opinion. But for now, big thumbs up from me.

L'Oréal Skin Perfection 3 in 1 Micellar Solution.

Now when it came to micellar water I was a total sceptic. I honestly thought that this would be a flash phase that would disappear as quickly as it grew. Then one weekend I was shopping and this happened to catch my eye as it was reduced to around £2. For that price I had to try it. Good or bad it was going to be worth trying for 2 quid. Oh my god! How the HELL have I managed without it until now?! My skin felt INSTANTLY smooth. It hasnt felt as smooth as this since....well I dont know when. Im going to try the garnier one next and then bioderma so I have a full understanding of how each one performs and compares.

And finally..........

Candles

Mainly Yankee candles but scented candles as a whole.  I spend a fortune on them. I love to find really unusual ones, like this one I had for mothers day from my daughter.

This candle from Yankee candles is my all time favourite. It has a subtle but beautiful scent. I would describe it as sweet, more like a perfume smell though.  Its really difficult to explain but trust me when I say it smells amazing. Id definitely wear this as a perfume if Yankee candles ever made perfume to match the candles.

And there you have it. My first favourites post. Let me know what youve been loving this month.

See you soon xx

The end is nigh!!

Hello again lovelies,

I thought I'd post a mid week blog this week as I have some extra time on my hands.

As you will have read in my previous posts I'm currently on a voluntary spending ban. I have so many products that rarely or never get used that I decided it was time to shop my stash. There's now just over two weeks remaining. I won't lie and say "oh it's a been a breeze" it's been hell on earth I tells ya! I miss browsing the aisles of boots the most. It's my most favourite place to shop! 

With payday fast approaching I'm already thinking ahead to what my payday purchases will be.  I have to admit that I have been pretty disciplined with buying beauty products and shopping in general so I'm treating myself to a few little extras this payday.

Here's my most wanted items for next paypay.

Let me know what's on your wish list. What are your "Holy grail" products? I would love to hear them and maybe they could become my holy grail products too. 

See you soon beauts! 

Decisions decisions!

Hello my lovelies,

Well another week has passed by. This week has been one long week for me despite being so busy!

When i decided i to start blogging i didnt want it to be completely beauty related. So i want to incorporate "dear diary" posts.

This week has been extremely busy! From hospital visits to job offers and then sickness. Ive not known which way to turn.

Ok, so firstly a little about me, I work full time as a Corporate key account manager for an environmental resources company. I deal with companies such as Coca cola, Virgin Atlantic Airways and Molton Brown, just to name a few. I look after the products that have to be legally and securely destroyed. Its a very busy and demanding job. But one which i love.

Im also single parent to a beautiful daughter who is almost 13. She certainly keeps me busy too!

The third ball im juggling is hospital visits. My brother in law is currently in hospital going through a stem cell transplant. He has a cancer known as multiple myeloma. Hes very ill at the moment so as a family were all providing as much support as we can to my sister and my 9 year old niece.

One unexpected development this week has come in the form of a job offer from a competitive company. It's a company I have had dealings with as we occasionally call on them to carry out work for us in busier times. The offer will take a lot of consideration. It will be a promotion in comparison to my current position but the part that's not making me jump at it is the fact that it's based in the south east. Essex to be more precise. As much as I would love to move I'm not sure of the practicalities. Firstly there is my daughter to consider, I would have to uproot her from her school and friends and we would be leaving behind my family.

This probably doesn't seem such a big issue to many, but being a single mum I rely on my mum to do the afternoon school run and she takes care of my daughter until I am home from work. I realise that this is an amazing opportunity but I'm so torn as to what to do!

Have any of you out there ever been in this same predicament? Can anyone offer any advice based on their experiences. 

I hope this post wasn't too boring! I wanted to give you all a little insight into my life at the moment and it was also a chance to explain why I only post once a week.

I would love to hear from any of you who have relocated due to their employment. Did it work out? Is it something that you would recommend? 

Please also let me know of any posts you would like to see. I have 2 tags which I'm currently working on it would really like to hear from you and find out what you like to read.

See you all soon,

Annmarie xxxx