Whats wrong with me?!

Hi lovelies!

It feels like an eternity since I last posted on here. My online presence has been very much lessened for the past few weeks.

My absence online has been largely due to the fact that recently I have been suffering with depression. Having never really experienced what its like to be depressed I did for a while think that I was heading for some kind of breakdown. Nothing could snap me out of this feeling that I had and when someone asked me what was wrong and why was I so quiet it would reduce me tears with no explanation why. Yes I was stressed with work and I had worries like everyone else in the world, but it seemed that my coping mechanism had just packed up.

From the outside looking in it would seem to others that I have absolutely no reason to be depressed. I have a job, a beautiful healthy daughter and a close knit loving amd supportive family.  So why would someone who has all that be depressed???

I kept asking myself this same question over and over. Was I just inflating everything and being dramatic?  Am I ill and just didn't realise? Why are all these small problems, that people experience day to day, getting to me so badly. Even now as I write this post I still cant answer the questions.

At work I was finding it more and more difficult to concentrate.  I felt insecure,  worthless and so paranoid that it was driving me to distraction. 

Once at home I was quiet, snappy and tearful. I tried so hard not to let this mood be seen by my daughter but it was becoming increasingly difficult to hide. My family started to notice that slowly I was becoming more and more reclusive. 

I was eating more for comfort and my weight has gone up, again adding to my upset and self loathe.

2 weeks ago my mum came to visit and I was having a bad day. I could barely string a sentence together through crying so hard. But I didnt know why. It was time to go to the doctors.

I was lucky enough to get an appointment that evening with my GP. He diagnosed me with depression.  He said that although anti depressants were available, prescribing them isn't always the answer.  Herbal alternatives can certainly help and he also suggested taking a little break from work to relax. He also advised I try things like Rescue Remedy and Kalms to help with the anxiety. 

I went into work the following day and poured my heart out to the director of the company to explain. This was step one of shaking myself from this feeling of despair.

I realise it will take a while for me to be my usual self but I can say that at the moment im feeling a lot better than I was. If I feel anxious I take a few deep breaths, step back from the situation for a second and then carry on.

Have any of you suffered with anxiety and / or depression?  What did you do to help come out of it?

Im so grateful for the support of my friends and family.  Without them I would be in a terrible mess.

If anyone who reads this is also suffering with depression then I urge you to talk to someone.  I have found that just talking about the worries and stresses I have, have certainly seemed smaller and easier to deal with once talked openly about.

Im also feeling a bit more confident about blogging again now too and im really looking forward to the Mids Blog Meet in Birmingham on the 31st. Im going to pull on my big girl pants, paint on a smile and enjoy a new meeting some new people. If you're attending please come and say hi!

Thank you all so much for reading this blog post. Its not been the usual happy, easy to read posts that we all enjoy but I wanted to fully explain my absence.

Anyway, onwards and upwards!

Look forward to speaking to you all soon my lovelies :0).

XxxxX

My Skin Care Routine - For Dry, Eczema prone skin.

Hello lovelies!

Welcome back to my blog. I cannot believe were in May already. Where is this year disappearing to?! I took a couple of weeks break from blogging and twitter due to busy family commitments but I'm glad to say I'm back and raring to go!

My first post for May is about my skincare. Now I have very troublesome dry skin. A sufferer of eczema since a teenager, I have spent fortunes on finding a product that works and doesn't irritate my sensitive skin. The products I'm about to talk about I've been using for just over 12 months. Now that may not sound a long amount of time. But for me, it's a lifetime!  My skin usually gets bored with products, flares up and then I'm back to square one. Thankfully these products all seem to do the trick.  And whilst they continue do so I wont be looking to change in the near future.

Morning Skincare Routine

Peaches & Clean

Now this may seem a little odd to most that someone with hyper sensitive skin would use this.  I was dubious at first myself as it contains such active ingredients.  But using it with my Clarisonic Mia it makes my skin so smooth and feel really clean.

*I use the sensitive brush on the Clarisonic as its not harsh at all on my skin.

Simple Kind to Eyes Rollerball

I use this before my moisturiser. I very rarely sleep well so most mornings my eyes are quite puffy. As the roller ball is metal it feels quite cold and refreshing on the eyes. It really helps.

Garner Micellar Water

Once cleansed I use a micellar water as a toner for my skin.  I am in love with these "magic waters". I have also used the L'Oreal one too.

Ambre Solaire - Sensitive Advance SPF50

I always use a SPF under my moisturiser. It wasnt something i used to do on a daily basis, but unfortunately my Grandma had skin cancer. She did have it removed but after that it was a huge wake up call for me. I live in England so factor 50 isnt completely needed, but i was drawn to the fact that it was aimed at sensitive skin.

Garnier Moisture Match

I actually use 2 of this range. During autumn and winter months I use this one for dry to very skin. This is very thick and extremely moisturising. Its best used sparingly though as it can cause your skin to feel on the greasy side (I never thought id say that about MY skin!).

As the seasons change and the weather improves I use this one for dry skin. Same lovely fresh scent and still very moisturising.  Not as thick as the previous one.

I can't recommend these moisturisers enough. If you are dry skin sufferer I urge you to try them. I never thought anything would hydrate my skin but they truly are amazing. Most definitely my holy grail products.  I will purchase them over and over again. And even better is the fact that they're drugstore! 

Evening Skincare Routine.

My evening skincare routine is pretty much the same as my morning routine.  Only 2 small changes.

First is the addition of these......

Johnson's Face Care - Make Up Be Gone

Yes, yes I know. Face wipes are the work of the devil and no doubt I'll be struck down for such a sin. But when I get home from work I want my make up off quickly as possible. Its been sat on my face for 9 hours, I find it suffocating! 

I only ever use Johnsons wipes.  And I use them as a "pre cleanse".

Once the make up is off I then use my Peaches & Clean cleanser to remove the rest of the days makeup away. I don't use the clarisonic on an evening as using it twice a day would be too harsh for my skin.

Once cleansed i tone with my micellar water and moisturise. 

So there we have it. I hope you enjoyed this post. If you have any questions at all about how I control my eczema when I do have break outs please let me know.

See you all very soon xxx